Bread Facts

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Samray
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Bread Facts

#1 Post by Samray » Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:04 pm

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

8. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

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D-Rider
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#2 Post by D-Rider » Tue Sep 16, 2008 1:11 pm

I'm done with bread ..... maybe the way forward is crackers .............









I'll get my coat ..............

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Viffer
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#3 Post by Viffer » Tue Sep 16, 2008 1:15 pm

Crackers is the word.

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Samray
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#4 Post by Samray » Tue Sep 16, 2008 1:50 pm

It can be rendered harmless by grilling but beware of resurrecting the lethal qualities by the addition of marmite.

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Falcopops
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#5 Post by Falcopops » Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:39 pm

:smt082

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Gio
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#6 Post by Gio » Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:42 am

:smt005 :smt005

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HowardQ
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#7 Post by HowardQ » Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:04 pm

Brilliant.

:smt005 :smt005 :smt005
:smt044 :smt044 :smt044

Sadly, it is all too late for me, as I read this just after eating my sandwich!

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