Modern Nursery Rhymes

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Kwackerz
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Modern Nursery Rhymes

#1 Post by Kwackerz » Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:13 pm

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bast**d.


---------

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

--------

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb ass"

--------

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.


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Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

---------

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play ,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay

------

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car
Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly

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Samray
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#2 Post by Samray » Sun Feb 03, 2008 3:11 pm

Mary had a little lamb,
It followed her to bed.
The lamb turned out to be a ram.
Mary had a little lamb ....

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Gio
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#3 Post by Gio » Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:24 pm

Mary had a tricycle
She rode it back to front
And every time the wheel went round
the spoke went......................................

:smt002

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Kwackerz
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#4 Post by Kwackerz » Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:34 pm

:smt044
Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly

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Gio
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#5 Post by Gio » Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:46 pm

See its not just the Army that has the best rhymes :smt003

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HowardQ
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#6 Post by HowardQ » Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:37 pm

Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket,
And every time she let it out,
The sheep dog tried to .............................
.............................................................
















Put it back again!

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BikerGran
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#7 Post by BikerGran » Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:45 pm

Higher up the mountain, greener grows the grass,
Down comes a billy-goat sliding on his..............





















....overcoat.
The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.

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ligloo
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#8 Post by ligloo » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:27 pm

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And the b**ch got a bone of her own!


Mary had a little lamb
it's fleece was black as coal,
and every time it jumped a fence
you could see it's pink a**hole.

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#9 Post by pup » Wed Mar 19, 2008 8:07 pm

mary had a motorbike
she rode it back to front
every time she turned a corner
a spark went up her c

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