Lightning does strike twice - can anyone help

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Paulh · #1 Post by **Paulh** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:28 pm

Short story, but true.

Normally I walk home from work as its only 25 minutes or so. End of last week I got the tram because it was peeiing it down and I didn't fancy getting soaked. (We have trams in croydon these days).

I got off the tram where it crosses a main road and waited at a pedestrian crossing. Red lights for the cars, green light to pedestrians and I start to cross over (seems fair enough to me). I get about 5 yards into the road and hear a squealing noise, and turn to see some twat on a bicycle, on the wrong side of the road, jumping the red light, riding through the pedestrian green man, and about to hit me because his brakes wouldn't work in the wet.

Luckily I reacted in time and stuck my arm out which hit him pretty hard in the chest but saved me from any injury. Anyway by the time I'd stopped swearing he'd jumped back on his bike and buggered off cycling down the pavement.

Tonight I got the tram home from work again because I'd got a load of stuff to take home (but it was dry and i was feeling lazy). Same time same tram stop when I got off. Again I started to cross at the green man, but remembering last time paused to look left again while I crossed - and the same bastard was there again. Red light, green crossing signal, wrong side of the road and heading staight for me.

This time it was dry so he stopped in time, and managed to bugger off before I could grab him to calmly explain my problem with his riding skills.

My problem is that the weather forecast for tomorrow is pretty poor, and I might get the same tram home tomorrow. I obviously need to get hold of a sharp lance for the jousting competition (preferabbly something that folds down to a suitable size to fit in a rucksack) - anyone know where I can get one in the Croydon area?

D-Rider · #2 Post by **D-Rider** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:35 pm

Chain saw could be entertaining - no need for him to stop

Paulh · #3 Post by **Paulh** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:40 pm

D-Rider wrote:Chain saw could be entertaining - no need for him to stop

Well not all at once

Samray · #4 Post by **Samray** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:55 pm

Sounds like brolly weather.

spokes?

HowardQ · #5 Post by **HowardQ** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:15 pm

D-Rider wrote:Chain saw could be entertaining - no need for him to stop

I'll just stick with Andy's idea!

#6 Post by **Kwackerz** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:50 pm

Fishing rods hurt.
Especially whacked across your face...

graham0071 · #7 Post by **graham0071** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:52 pm

I've got a really good mate that's a Traffic Plod, I'm sure I could borrow a stinger!!

To use at head height of course!

fastasfcuk · #8 Post by **fastasfcuk** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 10:22 pm

graham0071 wrote:I've got a really good mate that's a Traffic Plod, I'm sure I could borrow a stinger!!
To use at head height of course!

or a tazor.

Fausto · #9 Post by **Fausto** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:41 am

Be careful... Elderly Tory Baronesses may get away with it but I am sure it would go differently in your case