So later he tries the mower and like a scene out of Dads Army the thing runs away with him. Luckily the gardener was there that day and managed to stop it before it hit traffic.
I advise him to call mountfield and the store explain the situation and ask if as an exception they would allow him to return it as it was too powerful for a small garden, which was how it had been advertised. He is too humble and shy and embarrassed to do this so puts an advert in the supermarket basically saying frail old pensioner can't handle the Newhart so needs to sell. I point out to him this does not seem like one of his smarter moves and persuade him to let me call for him about returning it. So no joy at Mountfield but nice chap at the store says as an exception yes we will but you must drain the petrol
So I try loosening the hose to drain it he says "you shouldn't be smoking"
To which I reply "it's fine have you any idea how difficult ot Os to set fire to petrol"
Anyway to appease him I put the stogie away.
Tried to get the hose off but it's not moving so I suggest just running the engine till it's dry.
"Seems the easiest way" says he
So that's what we do we fire her up ... Literally!
The bloidy thing burst into flames ! So after pitting the fire out and examine the charred remains of his 3 day old mower I calmly relight the stogie shake my head and say...
"Right then Peter I'll be off now then you're best calling the store and explaining it's faulty and dangerous "
...and as I slink away I look over my shoulder to see this distraught OAP holding the remains of the garden blanket smouldering in one hand as he looks forlornly at the smouldering embers of a once proudachine and my heart melts.
"Don't worry I'll send the wife over to take it back with you well just tell them your simple and escaped the day you bought it and what were they doing selling such a dangerously faulty piece of kit to an obviously befuddled old goon!"
And that's where I left it though according to the wife Peter did ham it up a bit too much even to the point of pretending to forgetting his pin number that they needed to do the refund.
Still I had a nice ride out on the bike whilst they were returning it
