NOT KID SAFE. Things Porn Producers would have us believe

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Kwackerz
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NOT KID SAFE. Things Porn Producers would have us believe

#1 Post by Kwackerz » Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:44 pm

Thirty things porno producers would have us believe...

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding fine.

10. All women are noisy f*cks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't f*ck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there are two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile. (And DVDA really makes them tickled pink)

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shite out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients' cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fekking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are always clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

and finally...

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
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Kenif
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Cool

#2 Post by Kenif » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:09 pm

:smt005 That one's off doing the rounds now... :smt004
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Hammy
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#3 Post by Hammy » Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:17 pm

:smt005
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bikesdelsol
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#4 Post by bikesdelsol » Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:10 pm

:smt040 :smt040 :smt040 :smt040

Reckon theres a few truths there:)

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