Ian, How are you mate?

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HowardQ · #1 Post by **HowardQ** » Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:19 pm

Just noticed you online, how are things going?
Hope you are starting to pull things back together.

fastasfcuk · #2 Post by **fastasfcuk** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 3:07 pm

hi howard, thanks.
it's been really hard since ross's funeral and i'm going to have to get help as not handling it very well.i've tried working and going out but keep breaking down.i miss him so much. i've got alot of good mates who really care and i'm sorry if this sounds hard but i just don't want to be near anybody.if i laugh i hate myself after.
ross's toxacoligy results were clear, as i new they would be, but it was going arround by the people who did,nt know him that he was pissed,so that shut them b-----ds up.police forensics allso say he was'nt speeding, but what they say happened is different to the only witness's statement who ross was overtaking and that is really worrying me .the inquest should be in the next couple of weeks but i do'nt know how these work, will they just leave it at two different versions or will it be a court case?
anyway my daugther as told me i've got to get my self to newark to meet up or else and to be honest i want to, to shake your hands.
thanks again ian.

Falcomille · #3 Post by **Falcomille** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 4:09 pm

Stay with it Ian.. this is where friends really help. Don't keep beating yourself up, there's nothing you can do to change things, I'm sure Ross did everything he could to avoid the accident, it's just one of those things.. incredibly bad luck. Keep on posting because we are listening.....

Peter.

#4 Post by **Kwackerz** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:46 pm

Dunno about the dealings with reports, TC will probably be able to shed light if you can get hold of him.

Good to see you on the Site again though. As with everyone else, we're here to talk at, with, or whatever you need.

Aladinsaneuk · #5 Post by **Aladinsaneuk** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:07 pm

am still thinking on you mate

and glad that you realise you need some help - perhaps ask your gp for a good (bereavement) counsellor?

I take my hat off to those folks - I have seen some of them at work and they can help a lot

and, you probably do not want to hear me say it - but, if you need to, talk to your gp and if needs be do go for antidepressants in the short to mid term - they can help a lot as well

and looks like i will have to try and drag my scaley arse to newark now....

BikerGran · #6 Post by **BikerGran** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:36 pm

It's a really good idea to go for counselling as it's easier to talk to someone who is not involved in your life, I had counselling (for a different reason) and it made a big difference to my life.

Your daughter sounds like a good un, she's right that it will be good for you do do things like going to the meet if you can do it, life does go on and Ross would want you to enjoy it.

As for the inquest, you may find it helpful to look at http://www.coronerscourtssupportservice.org.uk/

And this about losing a child http://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/pdf/ ... t/EFI2.pdf

D-Rider · #7 Post by **D-Rider** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:02 pm

Glad to hear from you Ian.
Sorry it's tough - but it was never going to be easy.
As others have said, glad you're going to get some help from someone experienced in these things - that's half the battle with us blokes - admitting we need a bit of help and then doing something about it.
Your daughter sounds a real goodun too

Hope to see you at Newark

HowardQ · #8 Post by **HowardQ** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:17 pm

Nice to hear from you mate, it's gonna be hard for some time yet.
You have to remember that you have nothing to blame yourself for, so you cannot keep beating yourself up. Ross loved you and would not have wanted that.
I would try counselling and see how you go. I have no experience of it, but it has to be worth a try, and may work for you.
The main thing is to always find time for your daughter, girlfriend, family and close friends. You may think that you don't want to be near some of them right now, but they are the people who can really help you. Smiling or laughing is not bad, just think about the good times when Ross made you laugh and the happier memories, these thoughts will get you through the grief eventually.

joecrx · #9 Post by **joecrx** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:24 pm

hi ian , nice to see your keeping in touch

Falcopops · #10 Post by **Falcopops** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:20 pm

Aknowledging you could benefit from some professional help is a very brave and positive action. Take note of Aladin's coments and get the best you can.

Stay in touch esp. when your low