British ******* Telecom

[Kwackerz]

I think, Ive just managed a record.

2.5 hours on the phone to BT WITHOUT calling anyone a rude name and without getting overly stressed...

Here it goes..

Righty, We were getting BT Vision. No.. Dont tell me how good or bad it is, we WERE getting BT Vision. I dont give two hoots about it now.

So they phoned up explaining they couldnt make the date we had agreed, rescheduled for 2 weeks later. Ive been entrapped in the house all day today waiting for them to come round. Clearly the family have been waiting for it with excitement.. yaaay, recording TV to watch later, etc, etc, Sultana Sport, etc.

So it gets to 4.20pm and no bloke round with VBox, no van outside, no phonecall. I then start the saga... 20 mins to find the correct phone number (Use any, they are all pointed to the same fking Indian callcentre. ) I then do the button pressing and join a queue. Half an hour passes and I despatch child x 1 to look for a BT van and kick the git's cnut in. They return with no dead BT man.

45 mins.. presented with a cup of tea.. stress reduces.
1 Hour and 42 mins, YAAAY!! Oh.. Fk.. India calling..

'Where's me BT Vision, Fella?'

'Errrrrmmmm..can I put you on hold for a minute please...?'

*sound of bloke pedalling off in a rickshaw to find a phonebox to phone UK*

27.5 minutes later (Im counting)

CLICK! Drrrrrrr Ring, Ring..Ring Ring..

'WTF is going on? Feksakes!'
You are in a queueueueueeeeeeee..Mwahaha. Stag on fella...

'BASTID!!! '

Okaaaaaayyy.. 5 minutes and 30 seconds pass and I get thru to a guy who luckily listens to how Im at his headset. He's very helpful.

Then we spend another 15 minutes discussing whats happening and that they cant make it again.. But they do offer a week Friday..

'A what?!! I want him here in the next hour mate, not the next week and a half!'

So.. Back to square one.

The grand result being I politely asked him to refund my money and file a complaint on my behalf about the whole episode, referring the people who deal with complaints to my on screen history file. Which He's done.

Did I mention just how much I absolutely HATE British Telecom? They should never have gotten rid of the Bird.

I am now going to go and write a full letter of complaint to BT, requesting that I am replied to by Buzby.

[Gio]

Well you will live in some forgotten corner of this once great nation.

I have no complaints about BT (at some stage this will not apply) nor Sky, they managed to co-ordinate their movemenst very well when we switched from Virgin and even their, "you might be disconnected for a few days never materialised.

See if you can get a better number Tim, try these people http://www.saynoto0870.com/

[Samray]

British ******* Telecom

Someone used those same words to me not 20 mins ago, but they were talking bout their BB service.

[Kwackerz]

*sighs*

Considering I brought that subject up about Say No To 0870.. does one not think one's vertically challenged , highly strung friend may have done so...

They dont have a direct number, trust me on this!!

[Kwackerz]

BB and telecomms are fine, just.. well.. the product is good... The service somewhat lacking.

[Gio]

*sighs*

Considering I brought that subject up about Say No To 0870.. does one not think one's vertically challenged , highly strung friend may have done so...

They dont have a direct number, trust me on this!!

Not really, as you sounded a bit pissed off and as we all know red mist doesn't sort things out.

[ligloo]

British ******* Telecom

Someone used those same words to me not 20 mins ago, but they were talking bout their BB service.

and it still stands!!!!

[Kwackerz]

You have probs with your BB Ligs?

Shout at it louder. It'll work fine

[ligloo]

and shhhhh don't jinx it, it appears to be fine atm

[Kwackerz]

*whistles nonchalantly*

[Gio]

As we all know nowt works north of the border

[ligloo]

As we all know nowt works north of the border

Oh REALLY and how the f*&k would you know? us women up here have TASTE!!!!!!!!!!

[Gio]

As we all know nowt works north of the border

Oh REALLY and how the f*&k would you know? us women up here have TASTE!!!!!!!!!!

See it only works for a few minutes after midnight. I bet its a better connection in Alexandria.

[Kwackerz]

They did another great one today as well... BT...

Now my Line comes straight off the Pole, across to the house, down from the eaves and in thru the wall to the box on my wall. No outer box on the wall, straight in..


So we're having problems, the phone will ring once then nowt. If youre lucky you can catch it and answer, if not yer missing the call. I reported this as well as going to great lengths explaining exactly what had happened to cause this. I'll go thru it so you know too.. It does matter later on..


So they put up a new pole the other side of the road. The took the feed from our pole's box across the road and then from that new pole across to the houses across the road. They opened the front of the Box on our pole, did what they had to then reshut the box door, seemingly without sorting the seal out properly.
This was in good weather.
The man did his thing and everything was good. Until it rained..

This is when the fault materialised. I took the front off our socket box and used a phone in the test socket to check the line. it dials out ok but incoming calls you lose as I described. This is usually due to shorting out in the box outside the house, or on the post. water enters and shorts 2 of the terminals out so you can phone out but incoming is affected.

So I phoned the guys back today. Explained this for the 3rd time, also letting them know the fault has gone due to decent weather again.

'Yeah the guy is out to you on Monday'

'Hmm ok, but as there's no immediate fault, I will then be billed 120 quid call out plus 100 quid an hour should he not find the fault?'

'Errm.....'

'So that's a yes then?'

'Well yes. But you could give him a bucket of water to pour over the box'

'Up the pole?'

'Errm.. Yes..'

'So how am I going to persuade this guy to do that then. What if he doesnt want to. You going to expect me to recreate it?'

'Yeah.'

'And then I'll be billed for the damage to BT property?'

'Errm...'

'Well I will wont I..'

'Maybe, but you shouldnt really.'

'Youre a tit arent you.'

'Pardon Sir?'

'A Tit. A woman's Breast.'

'Whys that then Sir?'

'Because youre encouraging me to damage BT property, encouraging me to get billed for either a fault that isnt there at that time or for creating one'

'Well no..'

'Well Yeah. You are arent you.'

'So. Remove the fault call out and I'll process it again when it rains. Keep this fault on the system as unresolved but leave the biggest note you can explaining it only occurs when it rains and the customer will reactivate it. Can you do that on the system?'

'Yes Sir, I can do that.'

'Ok we'll go for that. Is there anything else I can help you with today?'

'Ermm No Sir'

'Thankyou and have a nice day'

'Errm.......'


I bloody Hate it!! I have a fault but theyve got me by the short n curlies! Call the guy out in dry weather, no fault, call him when it rains, 5 days later and it'll be dry when he comes out..... DAMN!!!!

[Aladinsaneuk]

you got a hose??

if the numpty is going to come out at a certain time, invite him in, make him coffee, pop outside while kettle boils and spray the box

end of problem