Dead Duck

[John1000]

A woman brought a very limp duck into a
vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry,
your duck has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead," he
replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I
mean,you haven't done any testing on him
or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and
left the room and returned a few moments
later with a black Labrador Retriever. As
the duck's owner looked on in amazement,
the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and sniffed
the duck from top to bottom. He then looked
at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and
returned a few moments later with a cat. The
cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed
delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm
sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely,
100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer
terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill
which he handed to the woman. The duck's
owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"£150!", she cried. "£150 just to tell me my
duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken
my word for it, the bill would have been £20,
but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's
now £150."

[HowardQ]

[Samray]

[Gio]

[Falcopops]