You Might Be a Police Officer If...

[Kwackerz]

You have a bladder capacity of five people

You've ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm

Your idea of a good time is a robbery at shift change

Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you

You find humour in other peoples' stupidity

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see

You have your weekends off planned for a year

You believe that a "shallow gene pool" should be grounds for an arrest

You believe that the Government should require people to have a permit to reproduce

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet around here".

You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a valid verdict

You have had to put a complainant on hold while you laugh uncontrollably

You believe the dispatcher is possessed

You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form

When you mention vegetables, you're not referring to food

You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium saltlick

You have heard "I have no idea how that got there" on more than a few occasions

It occurs to you suddenly one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone

You have learned a lot about paranoia simply by following random cars around in a patrol car

You believe that it was a good death only if it involves overtime

You believe in involuntary sterilisation

[ancientd]

Good grief, 30 years out and I still qualify.

[BikerGran]

I've never even joined and I qualify!

[Nooj]

Same as you, never wanted to join but I AM Plod on the grounds above. I'd even get in now they're taking shorties, I was never tall enough before.

[K_D]

[Samray]

On those grounds you must be looooooooooong overdue promotion.

23/23?