The joys of getin p***ed

[HowardQ]

Gone very quiet in here, assume everybody's in the pub today, so here's another sad story.

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he
often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He
gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing
a long flowing white Robe.

"Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my
bedroom?"

The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."
Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to
live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. You've got to send me back
straight away."

St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can
only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house,
he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over
and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode." "You're ovulating" explained the rooster,
"don't tell me you've never laid an egg before." "Never" replies Dave."Well
just relax and let it happen"

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg plops out
from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his
emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first
time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best
thing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt
an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...

"Dave, wake up you drunken bastard, you've shit the bed!!

[Samray]

[Gio]