Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml (Personal Care)

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#1 Post by **Kwackerz** » Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:49 pm

Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml (Personal Care)
>
> After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian
> I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving
> attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out
> trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I
> thought I would do the deed on the missu...s's birthday as a bit of a
> treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I
> considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the
> previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my
> fellow sufferers how wrong i was. I waited until the other half was
> tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special
> surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and i
> applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't
> have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a
> matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I
> can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two
> people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't
> featured much in my life until that night but i suddenly became
> willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around
> the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and
> two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash
> the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole
> with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the
> bathroom, across the hall into the kitchen. By this time walking was
> not really possible and i crawled the final yard to the fridge in the
> hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and
> found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid off and positioned it under me.
> The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly
> quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned. Due to the shape of the
> ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and
> i groped around in the draw for something else as i was sure my vision
> was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what i later found
> out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as i did
> so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between
> the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel
> had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space
> shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and
> hopefully the only time in my life i was going to wish there was a gay
> snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths i
> was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my
> pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the
> sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the
> strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that
> moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me,
> arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end
> pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering...."Ooooh that feels
> good". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream
> and as i hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of
> shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite
> some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout
> farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probaly wasn't
> the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the
> kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't
> improve my status... So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and
> self respect.....
>
> Enough said I think!

fatboy · #2 Post by **fatboy** » Sat Sep 01, 2012 5:52 pm

slickliner6 · #3 Post by **slickliner6** » Sat Sep 01, 2012 6:09 pm

and before you ask.........NO it wasnt me......lol...
i use immac.teehee

Sleepyboy · #4 Post by **Sleepyboy** » Sun Sep 02, 2012 7:09 pm

Do a search for this on Amazon.com and read the user reviews

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-R ... ewpoints=1

See how far you can get before it hurts laughing!!!

slickliner6 · #5 Post by **slickliner6** » Sun Sep 02, 2012 7:24 pm

Sleepyboy wrote:Do a search for this on Amazon.com and read the user reviews

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-R ... ewpoints=1

See how far you can get before it hurts laughing!!!

those have gotta be some of the funniest things i have ever read.pmsl

flatlander · #6 Post by **flatlander** » Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:46 pm

I was crying with laughter

randomsquid · #7 Post by **randomsquid** » Mon Sep 03, 2012 2:56 pm

flatlander wrote:I was crying with laughter

The voice of experience...