Falco rack and panniers
Moderators: Aladinsaneuk, MartDude, D-Rider, Moderators
-
furygan man
- SuperBike Racer
- Posts: 1134
- Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2010 4:56 pm
- Location: Leics/W Yorks/Bucks
-
randomsquid
- Wear the Fox Hat
- Posts: 2244
- Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:10 pm
- Location: West Mids
-
mangocrazy
- Admin
- Posts: 3944
- Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2008 3:24 pm
- Location: Sheffield, UK
-
randomsquid
- Wear the Fox Hat
- Posts: 2244
- Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:10 pm
- Location: West Mids
At the NEC he offered me and Mart a cheese sandwich!mangocrazy wrote:Sometimes it's cheese AND sex. Although I don't really want to think about that too much, either...randomsquid wrote:It's always about sex with you, or cheese.flatlander wrote:
hmnn you and lightly used kwaker shudder not an image I want to go with
Where ever I lay my hat.....
-
Aladinsaneuk
- Aprilia Admin
- Posts: 9503
- Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:37 pm
- Location: Webfoot territory
(Sketch starts with a policeman leading a man in mouse costume into a police station. Photo of headline: Mouse Clubs On Increase. Cut to: photos of neon signs of clubs: Eek Eek Club; The Little White Rodent Room; Caerphilly A Go-Go. Cut to studio: ordinary grey-suited Linkman.)
Linkman: Yes. The Mouse Problem· This week 'The World Around Us' looks at the growing social phenomenon of Mice and Men. What makes a man want to be a mouse.
(Interviewer, Harold Voice, sitting facing a confessor. The confessor is badly lit and is turned away from camera.)
Confessor: (very slowly and painfully) Well it's not a question of wantiing to be a mouse... it just sort of happens to you. All of a sudden you realize... that's what you want to be.
Interviewer: And when did you first notice these... shall we say... tendencies?
Confessor: Well... I was about seventeen and some mates and me went to a party, and, er... we had quite a lot to drink... and then some of the fellows there ... started handing ... cheese around ... and well just out of curiosity 1 tried a bit ... and well that was that.
Interviewer: And what else did these fellows do?
Confessor: Well some of them started dressing up as mice a bit ... and then when they'd got the costumes on they started ... squeaking.
Interviewer: Yes. And was that all?
Confessor: That was all.
Interviewer: And what was your reaction to this?
Confessor: Well I was shocked. But, er... gradually I came to feel that I was more at ease ... with other mice.
(Cut to linkman.)
Linkman: A typical case, whom we shall refer to as Mr A, although his real name is this:
Voice Over: (and CAPTION) ARTHUR JACKSON 32A MILTON AVENUE, HOUNSLOW, MIDDLESEX.
Linkman: What is it that attracts someone like Mr A to this way of life? I have with me a consultant psychiatrist.
(The camera pulls back to reveal the psychiatrist who places in front of himself a notice saying 'The Amazing Kargol And Janet '.)
Kargol: Well, we've just heard a typical case history. I myself have over seven hundred similar histories, all fully documented. Would you care to choose one?
(Janet, dressed in showgirl's outfit, enters and offers Linkman the case histories fanned out like cards, with one more prominent than the others; he picks it out.)
Kargol: (without looking) Mr Arthur Aidridge of Leamington.
Linkman: Well, that's amazing, amazing. Thank you, Janet. (chord; Janet postures and exits) Kargol, speaking as a psychiatrist as opposed to a conjuror...
Kargol: (disappointed) Oh...
Linkman: ... what makes certain men want to be mice?
Kargol: Well, we psychiatrists have found that over 8% of the population will always be mice. I mean, after all, there's something of the mouse in all of us. I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice. (Linkman looks puzzled) I know I have. I mean, most normal adolescents go through a stage of squeaking two or three times a day. Some youngsters on the other hand, are attracted to it by its very illegality. It's like murder - make a thing illegal and it acquires a mystique. (Linkman looks increasingly embarrassed) Look at arson - I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't set fire to some great public building. I know I have. (phone on desk rings; the Linkman picks it up but does not answer it) The only way to bring the crime figures down is to reduce the number of offences - get it out in the open - I know I have,
Linkman: (replacing phone) 'l'he Amazing Kargol And Janet. What a lot of people don't realize is that a mouse, once accepted, can fulfil a very useful role in society. Indeed there are examples throughout history of famous men now known to have been mice.
(Cut to Julius Caesar on beach. He shouts 'Veni Vidi, Vial'. Then he adds a furtive squeak. Napoleon pulls slice of cheese out of jacket and bites into it. Cut to Linkman)
Linkman: And, of course, Hillaire Belloc. But what is the attitude...
(Cut to man in a Viking helmet.)
Viking: ... of the man in the street towards...
Linkman: ... this growing social problem?
(Vox pops films.)
Window Cleaner: Clamp down on them.
Off-screen Voice: How?
Window Cleaner: I'd strangle them.
Stockbroker: Well speaking as a member of the Stock Exchange I would suck their brains out with a straw, sell the widows and orphans and go into South American Zinc.
Man: Yeh I'd, er, stuff sparrows down their throats, er, until the beaks stuck out through the, er, stomach walls.
Accountant: Oh well I'm a chartered accountant, and consequently too boring to be of interest.
Vicar: I feel that these poor unfortunate people should be free to live the lives of their own choice.
Porter: I'd split their nostrils open with a boat hook, I think.
2nd Man: Well I mean, they can't help it, can they? But, er, there's nothing you can do about it. So er, I'd kill 'em.
(Cut to linkman.)
Linkman: Clearly the British public's view is a hostile one.
Voice Over: (and CAPTION) 'HOSTILE'
Linkman: But perhaps this is because so little is generally known of these mice men. We have some film now taken of one of the notorious weekend mouse parties, where these disgusting little perverts meet.
(Cut to exterior house (night). The blinds are drawn so that only shadows of enormous mice can be seen, holding slices of cheese and squeaking.)
Linkman:'s Voice Mr A tells us what actually goes on at these mouse parties.
(Cut to Mr A.)
Mr A: Well first of all you get shown to your own private hole in the skirting board... then you put the mouse skin on... then you scurry into the main room, and perhaps take a run in the wheel.
Linkman: The remainder of this film was taken secretly at one of these mouse parties by a BBC cameraman posing as a vole. As usual we apologize for the poor quality of the film.
(Very, poor quality film, shadowy shapes, the odd mouse glimpsed.)
Mr A's Voice: Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you're on the harder stuff. You might go and see one of the blue cheese films... there's a big clock in the middle of the room, and about 12.50 you climb up it and then ...eventually, it strikes one... and you all run down.
(Cut to a large matron with apron and cawing knife)
Linkman's Voice: And what's that?
Mr A's Voice: That's the farmer's wife.
(Cut to the linkman at desk.)
Linkman: Perhaps we need to know more of these mice men before we can really judge them. Perhaps not. Anyway, our thirty minutes are up.
(Sound of baa-ing. The linkman looks up in air, looks startled, pulls a gun from under the desk and fires in the air. The body of a sheep falls to the floor.)
Linkman: Yes. The Mouse Problem· This week 'The World Around Us' looks at the growing social phenomenon of Mice and Men. What makes a man want to be a mouse.
(Interviewer, Harold Voice, sitting facing a confessor. The confessor is badly lit and is turned away from camera.)
Confessor: (very slowly and painfully) Well it's not a question of wantiing to be a mouse... it just sort of happens to you. All of a sudden you realize... that's what you want to be.
Interviewer: And when did you first notice these... shall we say... tendencies?
Confessor: Well... I was about seventeen and some mates and me went to a party, and, er... we had quite a lot to drink... and then some of the fellows there ... started handing ... cheese around ... and well just out of curiosity 1 tried a bit ... and well that was that.
Interviewer: And what else did these fellows do?
Confessor: Well some of them started dressing up as mice a bit ... and then when they'd got the costumes on they started ... squeaking.
Interviewer: Yes. And was that all?
Confessor: That was all.
Interviewer: And what was your reaction to this?
Confessor: Well I was shocked. But, er... gradually I came to feel that I was more at ease ... with other mice.
(Cut to linkman.)
Linkman: A typical case, whom we shall refer to as Mr A, although his real name is this:
Voice Over: (and CAPTION) ARTHUR JACKSON 32A MILTON AVENUE, HOUNSLOW, MIDDLESEX.
Linkman: What is it that attracts someone like Mr A to this way of life? I have with me a consultant psychiatrist.
(The camera pulls back to reveal the psychiatrist who places in front of himself a notice saying 'The Amazing Kargol And Janet '.)
Kargol: Well, we've just heard a typical case history. I myself have over seven hundred similar histories, all fully documented. Would you care to choose one?
(Janet, dressed in showgirl's outfit, enters and offers Linkman the case histories fanned out like cards, with one more prominent than the others; he picks it out.)
Kargol: (without looking) Mr Arthur Aidridge of Leamington.
Linkman: Well, that's amazing, amazing. Thank you, Janet. (chord; Janet postures and exits) Kargol, speaking as a psychiatrist as opposed to a conjuror...
Kargol: (disappointed) Oh...
Linkman: ... what makes certain men want to be mice?
Kargol: Well, we psychiatrists have found that over 8% of the population will always be mice. I mean, after all, there's something of the mouse in all of us. I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice. (Linkman looks puzzled) I know I have. I mean, most normal adolescents go through a stage of squeaking two or three times a day. Some youngsters on the other hand, are attracted to it by its very illegality. It's like murder - make a thing illegal and it acquires a mystique. (Linkman looks increasingly embarrassed) Look at arson - I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't set fire to some great public building. I know I have. (phone on desk rings; the Linkman picks it up but does not answer it) The only way to bring the crime figures down is to reduce the number of offences - get it out in the open - I know I have,
Linkman: (replacing phone) 'l'he Amazing Kargol And Janet. What a lot of people don't realize is that a mouse, once accepted, can fulfil a very useful role in society. Indeed there are examples throughout history of famous men now known to have been mice.
(Cut to Julius Caesar on beach. He shouts 'Veni Vidi, Vial'. Then he adds a furtive squeak. Napoleon pulls slice of cheese out of jacket and bites into it. Cut to Linkman)
Linkman: And, of course, Hillaire Belloc. But what is the attitude...
(Cut to man in a Viking helmet.)
Viking: ... of the man in the street towards...
Linkman: ... this growing social problem?
(Vox pops films.)
Window Cleaner: Clamp down on them.
Off-screen Voice: How?
Window Cleaner: I'd strangle them.
Stockbroker: Well speaking as a member of the Stock Exchange I would suck their brains out with a straw, sell the widows and orphans and go into South American Zinc.
Man: Yeh I'd, er, stuff sparrows down their throats, er, until the beaks stuck out through the, er, stomach walls.
Accountant: Oh well I'm a chartered accountant, and consequently too boring to be of interest.
Vicar: I feel that these poor unfortunate people should be free to live the lives of their own choice.
Porter: I'd split their nostrils open with a boat hook, I think.
2nd Man: Well I mean, they can't help it, can they? But, er, there's nothing you can do about it. So er, I'd kill 'em.
(Cut to linkman.)
Linkman: Clearly the British public's view is a hostile one.
Voice Over: (and CAPTION) 'HOSTILE'
Linkman: But perhaps this is because so little is generally known of these mice men. We have some film now taken of one of the notorious weekend mouse parties, where these disgusting little perverts meet.
(Cut to exterior house (night). The blinds are drawn so that only shadows of enormous mice can be seen, holding slices of cheese and squeaking.)
Linkman:'s Voice Mr A tells us what actually goes on at these mouse parties.
(Cut to Mr A.)
Mr A: Well first of all you get shown to your own private hole in the skirting board... then you put the mouse skin on... then you scurry into the main room, and perhaps take a run in the wheel.
Linkman: The remainder of this film was taken secretly at one of these mouse parties by a BBC cameraman posing as a vole. As usual we apologize for the poor quality of the film.
(Very, poor quality film, shadowy shapes, the odd mouse glimpsed.)
Mr A's Voice: Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you're on the harder stuff. You might go and see one of the blue cheese films... there's a big clock in the middle of the room, and about 12.50 you climb up it and then ...eventually, it strikes one... and you all run down.
(Cut to a large matron with apron and cawing knife)
Linkman's Voice: And what's that?
Mr A's Voice: That's the farmer's wife.
(Cut to the linkman at desk.)
Linkman: Perhaps we need to know more of these mice men before we can really judge them. Perhaps not. Anyway, our thirty minutes are up.
(Sound of baa-ing. The linkman looks up in air, looks startled, pulls a gun from under the desk and fires in the air. The body of a sheep falls to the floor.)
Let's face it, you wouldn't go to a nurse to get good advice on a problem with a Falco - you'd choose an Engineer or a mechanic...
I declined the offer and took my leave. The purported cheese and bread comestible bore more than a whiff of anchovy, indicative of previous usage for salacious purposes.randomsquid wrote:At the NEC he offered me and Mart a cheese sandwich!mangocrazy wrote:Sometimes it's cheese AND sex. Although I don't really want to think about that too much, either...randomsquid wrote:It's always about sex with you, or cheese.flatlander wrote:
hmnn you and lightly used kwaker shudder not an image I want to go with
It flies sideways through time
It's an electric line
To your zodiac sign
I've got a Black and Silver Machine!
It's an electric line
To your zodiac sign
I've got a Black and Silver Machine!
Nice one Pete - I remember that!
Whilst searching for images for that sketch, I came across this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry_fandom
The bizarreness of humanity is unfathomable
Whilst searching for images for that sketch, I came across this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry_fandom
The bizarreness of humanity is unfathomable
It flies sideways through time
It's an electric line
To your zodiac sign
I've got a Black and Silver Machine!
It's an electric line
To your zodiac sign
I've got a Black and Silver Machine!
-
flatlander
- Eprom Test Pilot (Stig)
- Posts: 3097
- Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:06 pm
- Location: cheshire
I my defence squid took the sandwich and mart what were yyou actually looking for ? 
For the avoidance of doubt and for the benefit of my wife, not everything I may say here will be absolutely true I may on ocassion embellish a little for effect.
That said when it comes to motorbikes, I like to ride side saddle with a nice frock
That said when it comes to motorbikes, I like to ride side saddle with a nice frock
-
blinkey501
- World Champion
- Posts: 3495
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2011 6:28 pm
- Location: near doncaster
-
Aladinsaneuk
- Aprilia Admin
- Posts: 9503
- Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:37 pm
- Location: Webfoot territory
-
Shetland Woody
- Clubman Racer
- Posts: 306
- Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 4:29 pm
-
HowardQ
- World Champion
- Posts: 3921
- Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:20 pm
- Location: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England
I bailed out long before it got there!blinkey501 wrote:They went for £165Keith75 wrote:Just to drag this back on topic, I'd been watching these for the past week. Ended up going for £155 which is a bit much for a canny Scotsman.
HowardQ
Take a ride on the Dark Side
2001 Aprilia Falco in Black
2002 Kawasaki ZX9R F1P
Take a ride on the Dark Side
2001 Aprilia Falco in Black
2002 Kawasaki ZX9R F1P
