can i share my pain

[Aladinsaneuk]

my thoughts are with you and yours

if i can help at all - please just ask

will pm you my mobile number in case just talking can help

pete

[HowardQ]

Ian, I'm shocked and lost for words, don't think there can be anything worse than losing one of your kids. I can't take it in, I went for a run in the car with the wife today, we parked up alongside the Old Barge at Newark and were talking about the accident as we came back through Ollerton. Can't believe it was your son, we are both so sorry.
Twenty odd years ago I lost both my parents in a short space of time, if ever you need somebody to talk to, I am only 30 minutes up the road, any time mate.
Just try and get through it for your daughter and eventually it does get better, after time.

So sorry mate..................... Howard

[BikerGran]

You have all my sympathy Ian, I have some feeling for what you are going through as we lost my stepdaughter last year, she was twice your son's age and had at least had a life, but as my husband said, it's just not right for your child to go before you do.

I know too that having a Christian faith doesn't make any difference to the feelings of loss and grief, tho perhaps in time it will help give you the strength to carry on.

At the moment all you can do is get through each day as it comes along and be strong for your daughter, I send my love and good wishes to you both.

[Falcopops]

My deepest sympathy Ian. You need to be strong for your Daughter, but you also need to grieve properly. Hope you find your way. Sorry I'm too far away to be much more help.

[paddyz1]

I am so sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine your pain. My thoughts are with you.

[fastasfcuk]

thank you every one of you,for your kind genuine heart felt words,i've just read your post again with tears streaming down my face.i,m going to do this for leanne's sake where our love for each other is so strong and i have karen my partner who i adore, so i have a lot love round me theirs just one missing. Ross was a good looking lad who would do anything for anyone and will be messed up because he's took three with him.
i'm really scared right now and whats killing me is that we had fell out and did'nt make up,i loved, love him so much so please do'nt ever let one of your loved ones walk through the door not talking.
i have to phone the coroner today and start making arangements for the funeral,i can't see ross, so wo'nt be able say my good bye's, so along with his death the fire and being killed on his sisters birthday i do'nt know what we've done, perhaps i should'nt think like that but thats what i keep asking my self.
thanks for taking the time.

ian.

[Firestarter]

Hi Ian,

Our thoughts are with you. Just remember, no matter how things were left, you are his Dad that he loves, and some argument is not going to change what he felt for you.

Mark

[joecrx]

dont know what to say , i read this post the other day but did not know how to reply,iv been reading the posts and you have alot of friends here who will do our best tp help you ,
your doughter neesd you more than ever now , it will be hard but youl get there, take care

[D-Rider]

Hi Ian,

Our thoughts are with you. Just remember, no matter how things were left, you are his Dad that he loves, and some argument is not going to change what he felt for you.

Mark

Yes exactly. I have 3 boys 17, 19 & 21 - falling out is a fact of life. It happens frequently and sometimes lasts for a brief moment and other times for longer.
That said, these fall outs tend to be on the surface - whatever they feel like at the time - and don't undo the years of care and love that have been built up. He'll have know you care.

I guess were we in your shoes we'd be asking the same "what have I done" questions - but you've not brought this upon yourself.

[ligloo]

Nothing more I can add. My genuine heartfelt thoughts go out to the pair of you.... hugs x

[Viking]

Ian,

My condolences to you and your family.

V

[GregD-UK]

I have read the above heartfelt sincere statements from the guys on here, there is no amount of words that can replace or soften the loss you have endured. All I can say is that the words are backed by truthful feelings and sincere support from us all. Again, due to geographical circumstances alot of us can't physically support you at this painful time, but, you and your daughter leanne and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers.... Be strong mate we all feel for your loss and hope you pull through.

[mangocrazy]

Ian,

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you and your family. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to lose a 19 year old son, nor can I imagine the depth of your pain. As others have said, don't let a little spat overshadow a lifetime of love and affection.

You will get through it and come out the other side, even though it doesn't seem possible now. All our thoughts and best wishes are with you, your daughter and your partner.

Graham

[snapdragon]

Ian - my deepest sympathies are with you and Leanne and Karen, try to remember the happy times. Ross knows how much you love him and I firmly believe that that love will be with him in his new place.
This is a place full of friends, and we are all here for you whenever you need a shoulder.

love to you all

[Tweaker]

Ian,
I've just logged on after a few days away from the forum and am truly stunned to hear of your loss. We all feel for you but none of us can truly grasp the enormity of the pain you must be feeling. As others have said, we all have arguments with our children but that's because we care and they know that - it doesn't change the bedrock of love that you have for each other.
Even though most of us have never met, there is a family spirit within this forum and I hope you can draw some comfort from that and the knowledge that anyone will do whatever thay can to help you through.

Dave