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At the risk of seeming self-indulgent, I'd like to take this opportunity for a whinge.

I seem to have reached another of life's turning points.

I had an operation in mid-December, to relieve carpal tunnel syndrome & trapped nerves in my elbow. It doesn't seem to have worked very well - my right hand & wrist are weaker & more painful than before the op. I'd been led to believe I'd be back at work (joiner) within six weeks. This hasn't been possible, so I'm still on sick pay. Seeing the surgeon on Friday for a follow-up - I'm hoping he'll be able to come up with something to improve this situation. I took the bike out last week for the first time since early December; really painful after 45 miles.

I've been having quite a lot of trouble with my back. Damaged some discs nearly 40 years ago, & the effects of that have got worse. For the last 5 years I've had worsening pins and needles, numbness, and weakness in my legs, and it's taken pestering for most of that time to get a diagnosis, following a recent MRI scan. Seems I've got 6 damaged discs, a few vertebrae out of line, arthritis, & stenosis - narrowing of the 'conduit' around my spinal cord - this is largely responsible for the leg problems. I saw a spinal surgeon 2 weeks ago; he told me surgery was unlikely to provide much relief for the back pain, but would improve the leg symptoms; I decided I'd defer surgery for a while - I need to keep going. However, these symptoms seem to have worsened even in the last two weeks - I'm developing a stoop, I'm now finding it difficult to stand for long, or to walk more than half a mile at a stretch - the legs give up, my feet start dragging on the ground, and my legs won't work properly for a couple of minutes after sitting for any length of time - worse in the car. I think I might have to re-consider my decision on the surgery. One bright spot remains - the bike is still more comfortable and easier on my back than a car.

Finally (I think), I'm about to be made redundant. My employer isn't too happy over the cost (not that it'll be huge - I've only worked for them for 4 1/2 years), but he says I'm not up to the job now (true), even though the surgeon said I could continue, within limits, and I've declined to resign.

So, whither hence? At the age of 58, in the present economic climate, and with a not-brilliant recent health record, I don't at the moment see much possibility of me finding reasonably remunerative employment. I'm not looking forward to getting enmeshed in the benefits system, but I don't see much alternative. And I don't see how a prospective employer could view positively investing in training someone who'll be at retirement age in a few years. I may as well have the spinal surgery, I think, but after that? I don't feel ready to retire quite yet (yes, I know I have the pipe and the Futura) - I need to keep working, not only for financial reasons, but for the sake of my sanity - I've been going a bit stir-crazy these last few weeks.

Sorry for going on - I feel better now. Thanks

Fuckit !
Nothing constructive to say at the moment except that this is a good place to vent.

I think I'd be preparing to milk the benefit system the way it has milked you over the years for totally undeserving cases.
You're certainly not putting yourself among their ranks by claiming your entitlements.

I wish you well whatever route you take, presumably starting with the surgery to your spine.

Sorry to hear this Mart.
Hope the docs can improve things a bit.
Is there any way you could work for yourself maybe adding that extra quality that some people will pay for? Probably too early to do anything about that until you know how things will settle down for you but might be something to think about in the meantime.

Whatever, I hope things improve for you.

i will call you this evening - probably after 1530/1600

and next time call me if you need to vent

Aladinsaneuk wrote:i will call you in the middle ages - probably after 1530/1600

There fixed that for you

MartDude wrote:It's all gone a bit Pete Tong

.... maybe better than having gone all Pete Dean ......

you do realise, Knott, that the size of your catheter is going to increase....

:)

Martdude, sorry to hear you are having such a shite time.
Hope this doesnt sound dumb but is it worth seeking a second opinion on the medical front? A few mates were told they would never walk again ect and now lead full on lives ( riding,driving,kids,cycling,dogs)
Im with Samray on the benefits front,get a return on your contributions, my nieghbour (40) has never worked in her life, was on DLA for years for smoking heroin, now on woking tax credits for smoking an ounce of weed a week and just returned from 3 wks in Morrocco
WTF Ican just abuot afford to live from payday to payday !
All the best mate

Sorry to hear that Mart. Just shout if you need anything, or just need to shout.

Very sorry to hear about all this, Mart. As others have said, rip the p1ss out of the benefits system - you've paid into it all your life, now it's time for some payback. And on the work front, could you not go the self-employed artisan route, flying under the tax radar...?

And some time soon we need to come and see you, drink industrial amounts of alcohol and talk shite about woodburning stoves...

Jst watched big fat gypsy weddings I'd feel better if someone I knew was spending my contributions so you are welcome to my share if that helps. On a side note I've started smoking my pipe again

I am really sorry to hear about your problems Mart and hope you can get something sorted. My oldest and best mate Dave, (I have ridden with him for 47 years), who bought Tweaker's old Falco nearly 18 months ago has been going through some similar issues. He was having major issues with his back as arthritis was gradually destroying his lower spine causing major backache problems, lack of movement, stooping and problems with his legs.
He had previously had a heart bypass that had some complications and a number of other operations. In this case he ended up having something like the first 4 vertebrae welded up (as he put it), with bone grafts from his hip and then steel plated.
He suffered a lot after the operation and convinced himself it was the worst decision of his life and would never ride a bike again, (he'd only had the Falco a few weeks, so was really pissed off!).
He couldn't stand up, sit down, sleep, or sit in a car without serious pain and was in a very black place for some time.
I kept ringing him every few days and going to see him to try and keep his spirits up, telling him things would get better, but all he could see was doom and gloom. Two or three months on, it slowly started to get better, less than six months on he was out on the Falco with me again, with very little pain at all. He will never be perfect as joints are still getting worse, but he was back biking again, and the doctor was right, it did improve his back movement, so the operation eventually really worked for him. If you go ahead with it I hope you get a similar result.
As for Dave, we got out regularly together throughout last summer, then his thumb fell off in early November.
That's as Dave described it.
He has a badly damaged scaphoid joint, (like mine only worse), and his thumb has always been very loose as the joint is worn away. It eventually came out, would not go back and was just hanging loose. He's just had it put back together and the joint as been rebuilt with bone grafts from his arm, plus the ligaments had stretched by the time of the Op and had had to be shortened and re-attached.
He was in an even blacker place than ever in the early part of the new year. The pain was 10 times worse than his back ever was, he'd never ride again and probably not even be able to drive either, so I was back with regular visits and phone calls.
You said this last time, the pain will get better, you know it worked last time, it will be OK.
No it feckin won't, not this time, never had pain anything like this!
Anyway, he is now about 25% back, the pain is nothing like as bad, (but it was very bad), the pot comes off on Thursday, but his fingers swell up very quickly even with small movement, and he reckons he will never work a clutch lever again! (Even with an Oberon cylinder!).
Still trying to keep him positive, it will be better when he can start physiotherapy shortly.
Fingers crossed, but I still reckon we'll get him back on the Falco by the later part of the summer, if not before, he still thinks it will take longer if at all, but his spirit has got better as the pain got better and it is axctually only about 6 weeks since the op.
The moral of this (long), story is that at our sort of age we don't heal as quick, but it is still worth going through the pain as the operations do usully help at lot.
Sorry if Pete has already given you a more proffessional assessment, but go for it and see how you go. As for work, you may get back you may not but go for whatever benefits you can, you've worked bloody hard for it.
Dave got a very nice Seat Leon FR diesel on his mobility allowance recently, so he now goes for what he can. Like you he has worked bloody hard all his life, and now may not get back to the job he loves.
He trained as a Saw Smithie 40 odd years ago and went back to it when he was made redundant some years ago and he really enjoyed it, although the money was crap.
Evidently he is one of only a few left in the country, and his work want him back, but that may be a step too far, standing at a work bench all day will never be easy again.
Hope things get better for you!

D-Rider wrote: Is there any way you could work for yourself maybe adding that extra quality that some people will pay for? Probably too early to do anything about that until you know how things will settle down for you but might be something to think about in the meantime.
.

Did that - it was my business for nearly 12 years, then sold it 4 1/2 years ago to a customer, partly to avoid going bankrupt, & partly because it was getting a bit much for me physically. Not many regrets - although it was a bumpy ride at times, I made some good friends I'd never have met otherwise, and learned a lot about myself.

If I had the space at home, I'd happily knock out small stuff, such as fire surrounds, or small dressers, as a side-line. But I don't, & there's no space for a big enough shed. Wouldn't want to take on the commitment of renting/leasing premises again.

And, realistically, I'm not certain for how long I could continue that. Anyway, it's not been my entire life - used to be an archaeologist, then museum curator (16 years), with a year as a courier, and 3 months as a spectacularly unsuccessful life insurance salesman, in between. Time for another metamorphosis.

Many, many thanks for your responses; I really do appreciate them very much. Some of what's been said (particularly Howard's comments) I know, at the back of my mind; I probably need to give myself a kick up the arse* - the black dog's been snapping at my heels lately, and I've been viewing the world through (probably unnecessarily) dark-tinted glasses.

And some time soon we need to come and see you, drink industrial amounts of alcohol and talk shite about woodburning stoves...

Any time, Graham. Just give me a week or two notice, so I can make sure James, & ideally Gary as well, are around

On a side note I've started smoking my pipe again

You can't. You don't have a Futura

my nieghbour (40) has never worked in her life, was on DLA for years for smoking heroin, now on woking tax credits for smoking an ounce of weed a week and just returned from 3 wks in Morrocco

Would you mind asking her how she does it?























*Perhaps Hanna could do that for me, in lieu of a slapping?

Its really sad when you are such a hard working individual martdude...
obviously you are a proud person and that is two good qualitys in a person that i admire...
Claim what you can has you have paid in

Hi Mart - sorry to learn about your bad luck and poor health. Not much I can offer other than moral support and echoing of the sentiments from your forum pals.
Good luck, hope things improve.