Banned from Sainsbury's

Message

Samray · #1 Post by **Samray** » Wed Nov 23, 2011 6:20 pm

Didn't like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's bum and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

Willopotomas · #2 Post by **Willopotomas** » Wed Nov 23, 2011 7:04 pm

Perfectly reasonable response I think mate. Sainsburys where you are have obviously had a humour by-pass operation.

randomsquid · #3 Post by **randomsquid** » Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:14 pm

Humourless people do ask the daftest questions.

My favourite is, 'Got a bike?' - 'No ducky, a leather fetish.'

#4 Post by **Kwackerz** » Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:41 pm

tommy · #5 Post by **tommy** » Thu Nov 24, 2011 7:14 pm

Hahaha, i love this! i'm almost crying!