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I looked out on the destrction. Smashed windows, cars turned upside down, a bus on fire, people running scared, police unsure what move to make. . . .

I turned to the Missus and said "Chin up, you did your best, but maybe I should park the car".

..and stolen to post elsewhere!

Ngongo Mwambi has to travel 5 miles every day for fresh water and 7 miles for food..........












This is because the thick bastard torched Peckham Spar and Tottenham KFC and now has to walk to Croydon for food and water......

Egypt.. Libya... UK...

It's disgusting how all those muslim countries are going to rack and ruin..

Still not stopped laughing from the first one yet!
Obviously written before they torched Croydon, so an even longer walk now

Question:
How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

Answer:
First - Lets pose the following question:

You're on duty by yourself walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and lunges at you.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot, however you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.
What do you do?

BRITISH POLICE OFFICER:
Firstly the officer must consider the man's Human Rights.
1) Does the man look poor or oppressed?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
3) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
4) Am I dressed provocatively?
5) Could I run away?
6) Could I possibly swing my gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
7) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong doings?
8) Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
9) Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?
12) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .
13) If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?


AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICER:
BANG!

AMERICAN POLICE OFFICER:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 'click'....
(Sergeant arrives at scene later and remarks: 'Nice grouping!)

And ruthlessly looted from a friend..

As per the old spice advert


Hello Rioters. Look at your friend, now back to me. Now at your friend, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped using petrol bombs and started using job centre he could potentially be me.
Look down, back up. Where are we? You're at an interview with the man your friend could work for.
What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It's an application form to that job you need.
Look again. The form is now money. Anything is possible when you get a job and stop looting.

Riots have now hit Glasgow - I've just seen a Jock break into a fiver!

Kwackerz wrote:
BRITISH POLICE OFFICER:

12) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .
13) If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?

WTF is a British copper doing with a gun in the first place.
We are supposed to be proud "owners" of an unarmed police force !!!!

Replace 'shoot' with 'twat him with truncheon'

David Cameron said in the commons today that many of the youths involved in the rioting don't know the difference between right and wrong.

After hearing some of those wankers talking on the news the last few days, I doubt very much they even know the difference between right and fucking left!

The looting has even spread to Cornwall!

http://i.imgur.com/C5XQm.gif

I fort Loot'n wus jest norf of Lundun ....


Didn't Lorraine Chase mention their airport in a Campari advert?

D-Rider wrote:

Kwackerz wrote:
BRITISH POLICE OFFICER:

12) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .
13) If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?

WTF is a British copper doing with a gun in the first place.
We are supposed to be proud "owners" of an unarmed police force !!!!

*waves hand in a jedi manner*



This is not the policeman you are looking for..