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-- I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

-- I had amnesia once -- or twice.

-- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

-- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

-- They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

-- Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

-- Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

-- Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

-- What if there were no hypothetical questions?

-- One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

-- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

-- A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

-- My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

-- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

-- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

-- How can there be self-help "groups"?

-- Is there another word for synonym?

-- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

-- The speed of time is one-second per second.

-- Is it possible to be totally partial?

-- What's another word for thesaurus?

-- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

-- It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

-- Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Samray wrote:-- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

My favourite, gets used whenever an opportunity arises.

Some good un's there
Best bit of life logic I heard was from Quentin Crisp "If at first you don't succeed.....maybe failure's your style"

Falcopops wrote:

Samray wrote:-- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

My favourite, gets used whenever an opportunity arises.

If a hammer doesn't solve it, the problem is electrical.

..which gets solved with tape!

Samray wrote:

Falcopops wrote:

Samray wrote:-- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

My favourite, gets used whenever an opportunity arises.

If a hammer doesn't solve it, the problem is electrical.

Not true!

My Dad's friend worked with TVs and Radios back in the day of valves.
In his toolkit he had a Radio Engineer's Valve Testing Hammer.
If you suspected a valve wasn't working, a sharp tap with the Radio Engineer's Valve Testing Hammer would confirm the diagnosis .....

Simples.


BTW, some brilliant ones in that list Sam