can i share my pain

Message

fastasfcuk · #1 Post by **fastasfcuk** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 11:16 am

i do'nt why i'm doing this, most of you i've never met but do feel i know you. from the age of 5 my son and my 9 year old daughter who i've brought up alone and it,s made me a better person and loved them dearly. if you've seen the news and read this mornings papers you'll know that there was a bad collison involving to cars on friday night on the a614 near bilsthorpe.
my 19 year old son Ross was the driver of one of the cars and was killed outright with 4 of his mates and 2 others in the other car.i do'nt see any point to my life any more but i've got to try and be strong for my daughters sake leanne whose birthday was yesterday and needless to say is in pieces.i strongly believe in god and deep down i no he's at rest in a better place, but i'm struggling to justify my believe and find any answers.i'm sorry for putting this on you all but it's a little bit of help.
right now the bikes going i dare'nt risk leeving my daughter with nothing.

thanks ian.

Samray · #2 Post by **Samray** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 12:20 pm

So sorry Ian.

I did take note of the accident in the news with having family in the area and am shocked to hear who it was.
As you say, Leanne and yourself will need each other more than ever at this time and in the future, and there will be a future.
Thoughts and prayers are with you.

#3 Post by **Kwackerz** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 12:37 pm

Ian, Any time you want to talk about things, you've most definately got friends on here who'll listen and although not all of us will be able to comprehend fully the feelings and emotions you'll be going through as we've not been there, a good majority of us have Sons and Daughters and can at least partly comprehend some of what it must be like.

My heart genuinely goes out to you and yours in what must be a hell of a bad time in your family's life. Anything I can do to help let me know, even if it's just act as somewhere to vent off, just shout mate.

Falcomille · #4 Post by **Falcomille** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:03 pm

Ian - what can I say. I'm truly shocked. I saw the news on Sky yesterday and was worried about my own family who are from that area. We haven't met and have only ever seen each other on-line, but you've got to keep it together mate, and draw on any strength you can from anyone who offers it, includng this forum. Geography says it's nigh-on impossible for me to personally help, but there are lots of other guys nearby who I'm sure will give you some support, morally, spiritually, or whatever you need.
I thank you for turning to the forum rather than bottling it up to yourself, if there is anything we can do, just ask.
My depest sympathy to you and your family.

Peter

Syltiz · #5 Post by **Syltiz** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:42 pm

I'm really sorry to hear that Ian. I heard the news on the radio and it stuck in my mind for some reason. It must be incredibly difficult for you and I hope you keep things together if for no other reason than for your daughter's sake. Sympathies to you and your family.

Falken · #6 Post by **Falken** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:54 pm

Ian, sorry to hear the sad news.
Our thoughts are with you and Leanne.
If you want to talk or meet you have my number.
Ken

D-Rider · #7 Post by **D-Rider** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:21 pm

Hi Ian
I'm so sorry to hear of the pain and loss that you and your daughter must be suffering.
Yesterday we were diving up north and kept hearing the traffic announcements - then when we got home, saw the report on the news. I never expected to hear that this has affected someone that I know.
I feel for you and your daughter - and I'm not just saying that - it's a strange bond we all share through the internet and our common interests but I think you'll find that we really do care.
Such a sudden loss must be so very hard to bear - I pray that God will sustain you both through all this.
As others have said, we don't know what we can do to help - but we are there if there are things we can do.

Andy

Falco9 · #8 Post by **Falco9** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:43 pm

Hi Ian,

Words fail me, such a tragic loss at such a young age. Please accept my sincere and heartfelt condolences to both you and your daughter.

Along with your other friends here on the forum could I also say that if there is anything at all I can do please just ask. I'm not that far away and would be happy to help if I can.

My thoughts are with you

Rich

Renevator · #9 Post by **Renevator** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:04 pm

Ian

That's absolutely tragic, I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. I'm only a casual attendee here but hope it helps in a tiny way to boost numbers of folk that you know are aware of your loss and are wishing you the best they can. No one can possibly understand what you're going through I'm sure, certainly not me as I don't have children. I can understand fully why you feel you need to get rid of the bike, but maybe if you don't need the cash, would it help in future just to be able to maybe take it to a track, where you can just enjoy yourself with the friends you have here, in a safe and supportive environment. You're bound to need some way of finding hope & joy in your life, but I guess it's way too early to even coinceive of that, so apologies if I've overstepped the mark here.
I'm sure the guys here that you know, who have offered support would do whatever they could to help, and I'm sure it would give you strength to share your feelings with them, so that you can continue to be the rock you'll no doubt have to be for your precious daughter. She's going to need you now more than ever, and it seems to me you're obviously a loving father who will do that, so I sincerely hope your God will give you strength.
Don't think twice about sharing anything on this board. I've seen it done on others, wher people just need someway of letting their pain out, and your friends, and other decent folk will support your every post in that regard I'm sure.
My thoughts are with you.

Rene

lazarus · #10 Post by **lazarus** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 5:42 pm

Dreadfully sorry to hear of the death of your young son. Cannot begin to imagine what it must feel like - I've lost both parents but it has to be worse losing your offspring.

Your son would want you to go on, and your daughter needs you to do so. You have to be strong however difficult it seems right now, and whilst you will never forget your loss you will come out at the other end of this tunnel eventually. So just focus on the 19 years you have enjoyed and take it day by day.

If there is anything I can do to help, let me know.

HisNibbs · #11 Post by **HisNibbs** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:08 pm

Ian, I'm struggling for words too. I'm reasonably local and heard of the accident the other day but it sure hits home now that I have a sense of knowing a little something of those involved.

My daughter has just started driving and our fear of this sort of tradgedy is real. Kids have to make their own way and face the associated risks, which I know probably sounds too dispasionate and not much of a help, when you are devistated.

I think you should take time before changing things around and getting rid of the bike, it is probably part of your daughter's perception of who you are, as well as your own.

If you want to vent and this forum can help, then as others have said don't hold back on our account.

Shebee · #12 Post by **Shebee** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:12 pm

Deepest sympath for your loss .

bigun · #13 Post by **bigun** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 6:56 pm

Saw this on the news too and logging in here, I'm utterly stunned.

Heartfelt condolences, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please don't think you're on your own, we will all support you in anyway we can.

RIP Ross.

Paul.

Fausto · #14 Post by **Fausto** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:02 pm

I really feel for you Ian.

I can't possibly understand the depth of your grief but I hope that in some small way our responses will help. If only because you know that there are people out here thinking of you.

Stay in touch.

FlyingKiwi · #15 Post by **FlyingKiwi** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 8:22 pm

Ian, I don't know what to say, I can't add to anything that hasn't already been said.
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Glen.