A (PC) Christmas Poem
Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:12 pm
Twas the night before Christmas, Santa is wrecked.
From living in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically challenged" they were calling themselves.
The reindeer had vanished, without much propriety.
Released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
The smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His suit trimmed in fur, was called "unenlightened."
And as for the gifts, why, he'd hadn’t a notion
That making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, nor nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored, or made lots of noise.
Nothing just for girls, and not just for boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike and not pacific.
No chocolate or sweets, bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological.
Who claimed the only good gift, was one ecological.
No hurley or football - someone could get hurt.
Besides, playing such sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist - and so passé.
Computer games would rot the brain clean away.
So Santa just stood there, confused and perplexed.
Trying to figure, what he could do next.
He tried to be merry; he tried to be gay,
But you have to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp on the ground.
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might.
Give to all without upsetting the left or the right.
A gift that would fill the varying need.
Of every faction and every creed.
Every nation and tribe of differing view.
Everyone, everywhere - and that includes you.
So here is that gift, its price beyond worth.
May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on Earth.
Have a wonderful Christmas
From living in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically challenged" they were calling themselves.
The reindeer had vanished, without much propriety.
Released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
The smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His suit trimmed in fur, was called "unenlightened."
And as for the gifts, why, he'd hadn’t a notion
That making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, nor nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored, or made lots of noise.
Nothing just for girls, and not just for boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike and not pacific.
No chocolate or sweets, bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological.
Who claimed the only good gift, was one ecological.
No hurley or football - someone could get hurt.
Besides, playing such sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist - and so passé.
Computer games would rot the brain clean away.
So Santa just stood there, confused and perplexed.
Trying to figure, what he could do next.
He tried to be merry; he tried to be gay,
But you have to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp on the ground.
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might.
Give to all without upsetting the left or the right.
A gift that would fill the varying need.
Of every faction and every creed.
Every nation and tribe of differing view.
Everyone, everywhere - and that includes you.
So here is that gift, its price beyond worth.
May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on Earth.
Have a wonderful Christmas
Politically correct my arse! I dont kick up a stink during my kid's RE lessons when they spend more time learning foreign (sorry, non-christian..) beliefs. So why should 'They' not accept ours?
How the hell can anyone forget it's Christmas?