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I have suffered for a lot of years due to this, and unfortunately, two weeks before Christmas my head fell off.

My employers have given me full support and got me the help I have needed with CBT psychotherapy.

I would also like to thank key individuals of RS who listened to me and let me vent my frustration, words cannot convey the gratitude I have to you and the patience you had with me when I needed it. I am now in a lot better place. And also one who is a Falco rider and my higher management at Tarmac who give me the kick up the arse I needed.

I would advise anyone who has suffered or is going through this right now don't be ashamed or be worried about astigmatism attached to this subject.

Please speak up and see your GP. I regrettably left it too late and it nearly cost me dearly. And even though I had key individuals recognise the signs, and offer to advise me before D Day I chose to ignore it. These people only wanted what was best for me, and I felt at the time. They were interfering with what I portrayed in my mind. But now I realise that they wasn't. They just wanted to help,

Please don't allow this to happen to you this subject is more recognised by the medical profession than it ever has been.

If you have any questions regarding CBT I will try and answer any questions on this thread or by PM

Thanks.

Jay Might i wish you all the best and send big love, and to any others who are unsure recommend MIND as a resource. If you are concerned about anything being on your medical records they don't keep those records and do not share information with anyone. They also use CBY as a technique.

Hi Jay, I had no idea. Hope things are turning around and you are feeling better.

See in a few weeks

flatlander wrote:Jay Might i wish you all the best and send big love, and to any others who are unsure recommend MIND as a resource. If you are concerned about anything being on your medical records they don't keep those records and do not share information with anyone. They also use CBY as a technique.

Thanks Geoff.

DavShill wrote:Hi Jay, I had no idea. Hope things are turning around and you are feeling better.

See in a few weeks

Thanks Dave. Yes bon voyage

Hi Jay,
I'm no stranger to these two demons, you have done the best thing by speaking up and seeking help. If you are human then you are vunerable to attack from the ' black dogs'.
Like so many on here, I've never met you but chatted happily on here for a few years, and like everybody on here I wish you all the bestand don't let the bastards grind you down, you're better than that mate.
You are a really talented bloke, your posts on here make that more than clear, spot on tig welder, fitter .fettler.
You got respect cos you earned it fella, simple as and keep hold of this when things get dark.
You have helped me out on here loads mate, and that is the work of a good dude

Well that's a post that must have taken some courage to write - so huge respect to you. Hopefully, you sharing your experience will help others too - you've certainly included some clear pointers.

Hope you are through the worst of it and now have good strategies in place if things start going downhill a bit in future and that'll stop things getting too bad.

All the best - and Fatboy too.

fatboy wrote:Hi Jay,
I'm no stranger to these two demons, you have done the best thing by speaking up and seeking help. If you are human then you are vunerable to attack from the ' black dogs'.
Like so many on here, I've never met you but chatted happily on here for a few years, and like everybody on here I wish you all the bestand don't let the bastards grind you down, you're better than that mate.
You are a really talented bloke, your posts on here make that more than clear, spot on tig welder, fitter .fettler.
You got respect cos you earned it fella, simple as and keep hold of this when things get dark.
You have helped me out on here loads mate, and that is the work of a good dude

Thanks for the kind words. It's in my nature to help where I can.
I'm not brilliant at Tig welding though, i spend more time sharpening the tungsten than welding.

D-Rider wrote:Well that's a post that must have taken some courage to write - so huge respect to you. Hopefully, you sharing your experience will help others too - you've certainly included some clear pointers.

Hope you are through the worst of it and now have good strategies in place if things start going downhill a bit in future and that'll stop things getting too bad.

All the best - and Fatboy too.

Thnks Andy. Tbh if I didn't reach rock bottom and lost it altogether I would have just carried on.

To realise that after you have got the help you need, things can massively improve in your life.

When I was suffering a mate said to me ' We can't always know what you're thinking. Talk to us,let us help'.
Ihope you get on well with your doctor, some of the medication can have unpleasant side effects, don't be fobbed off with something that does not work for you.
Massive group hug with Jay at the centre !

Big respect, Jay for having the courage to come out and say what you did. It can't be easy, as inner pride probably says 'don't!'. I'm no expert in these matters, but it seems to me that you've done the most important thing - acknowledge that you need help and seek it. Us blokes tend to be rubbish at that kind of thing, so well done you for facing up to it and not trying to ignore it and hope it goes away.

mangocrazy wrote:Big respect, Jay for having the courage to come out and say what you did. It can't be easy, as inner pride probably says 'don't!'. I'm no expert in these matters, but it seems to me that you've done the most important thing - acknowledge that you need help and seek it. Us blokes tend to be rubbish at that kind of thing, so well done you for facing up to it and not trying to ignore it and hope it goes away.

Unfortunately, it never goes away. You are given the tools to deal with it with the help you receive.

It also helps to learn about the type of people in life you can encounter. Ie sociopaths. Narcissists. Passive aggressive people etc.

It also is fun if that sounds right learning. You can look at people and just think, "Yes I know what you're doing" and smile.

It's been a massive help.

Yes, I appreciate that it's something of a life sentence. As you say, it's how you manage it and who you choose to associate with that is key. I think as you get older you're able to sum people up quicker and decide whether you want them in your life or not. Sometimes you have to be callous to a degree to protect yourself.

Only just seen this as I haven't been on here for ages.

I'm really glad you got the help you needed, specially in the form of CBT. Over the years I've had many different forms of medication, most of which really didn't work for me, apart from maybe keeping me from falling right through the black hole a time or two. It wasn't till I did a course of CBT that I began to feel I had some control, and was able to teach myself to look at life, and people, somewhat differently.

It's hard work getting through it, and as you said, it's not a cure, but it is rather amazing how 'just talking' can make the black clouds back off. (for those who don't know, it's not exactly just talking but I can't describe it, you have to be there).

It hasn't always worked for me, once or twice I've had to go through the process again, so don't feel you've failed if that happens for you - I was told to think of it like my bike, it doesn't mean the engine's failed if you have to top up the oil now and then.

Thanks for opening up the subject on here, I'm always ready to share my experience but I never know how to start. I expect you've found that a lot more people than you thought have been there! One of the really helpful things my counsellor told me, and the only actual bit of advice he gave me (written on a card to carry at all times) was......

"Be kind to yourself".

The card's worn out now but I'll never forget.

Might i with all due respect to female.members encourage folks to look at the international mens day UK website as a further useful source