Sad to report: Member has left the forum

Message

D-Rider · #1 Post by **D-Rider** » Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:09 pm

Hi everyone

We seldom have people formally leave the forum - they tend to just slip away.
Not that I have deleted an account before but were someone to wish their account to be deleted, I would choose to do it quietly.

However, on this occasion I think I need to let people know as some of us may be likely to try to contact this person in the future and not understand why he can't be found.

So it is with real sadness that I have to let people know that TC has left Ridersite. In wishing to leave he wanted to make a clean break and to stop him receiving PMs, it meant he couldn't just go "low profile" but needed to ask me to delete his account.

Please be assured that I have tried to get him to think it over and change his mind, but his mind is set and it wouldn't be right not to let him go.

It doesn't take too much to understand that this decision is the culmination of a number of recent threads that got a bit out of hand and a bit personal ... and apparently it isn't the first time - including through PMs.

I certainly don't want this to start a discussion ripping into analysis of the threads that have brought this to a head but we do need to try to ensure that we get things right in the future.
Remember that one person's banter is another person's insult and one person's robust discussion is another person's personal attack.
How things are meant isn't always how they are received and, I dare to say, maybe sometimes some things might not be meant that charitably.

I think nobody wants Ridersite to become a sanitised forum that doesn't push the banter a bit but let's try to be a bit careful when it gets personal.

Although TC will probably never get to see this, I'd like to record my appreciation of his input over many years as well as the good advice he has posted for the common good and the specific help he has given to individuals - myself included.

Gio · #2 Post by **Gio** » Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:21 pm

I'm very sad at that news, but it doesn't shock me, I've met him on a couple of occasions and always found him to be polite and informative, yes he could be hard work but can't we all be like that.
The 1st time I met Tony was on a bike day, he offered to help prepare me to start practicing for my RoSPA test, which sadly I never got round to. It was an absolutely fantastic day and I learnt bags of things.

spiderwheels · #3 Post by **spiderwheels** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:27 am

There's being difficult and there's behaving like a Prima donna

Greg · #4 Post by **Greg** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:48 am

I know I've not been here long but ...

Compared to some forums (and by that I mean UKGSer amongst others - which some may have already experienced) this 'place' is pretty stable and not prone to flouncing.

However, I think that Mr Wheels and certainly Mango from another TC related post are quite succinct in their perception of the situation.

Despite what anybody thinks, toys are better off in the pram, and dummies firmly clamped between the teeth. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but to be brutally honest if you don't like a forum then maybe the better thing to do is just to go and not come back. That way you don't get 'bothered' by PMs...

Just sayin'

p.s. I quite enjoy it here too.... now, where did I put that toasted tea-cake?

Dalemac · #5 Post by **Dalemac** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 1:39 pm

I'm sorry that my ignorance has contributed to a forum member quitting. Who'd have thought that someone in his profession would be so delicate that they couldn't cope with a response to an article and a few lines of text that were inevitably going to spark a debate.

Me and fatboy must be pariah's now

Greg · #6 Post by **Greg** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:28 pm

I was wondering whether he was 'Job' ... was he??

D-Rider · #7 Post by **D-Rider** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:13 pm

Hmmm I debated whether I should lock the thread from the outset but decided not to.
Looks as though I should have done.
I understand it's not just the visible stuff on the surface that led to this but stuff by PM too.
Can we stop the picking over whether this is a toys out of the pram moment or something more
It's enough that one of our own felt it to be too much.

Let's all move on and make things better for the future

spiderwheels · #8 Post by **spiderwheels** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:20 pm

D-Rider wrote:Hmmm I debated whether I should lock the thread from the outset but decided not to.
Looks as though I should have done.
I understand it's not just the visible stuff on the surface that led to this but stuff by PM too.
Can we stop the picking over whether this is a toys out of the pram moment or something more
It's enough that one of our own felt it to be too much.

Let's all move on and make things better for the future

If you're thinking about locking a thread from the outset then maybe it would have been better not to have posted it at all. Obviously opinions are divided on whether this is 'sad news' or not as are opinions on who is to blame. Locking a thread which, intentionally or not, comes across as fairly biased would have not been good for the site.

It would have been better to let him slip away quietly and not post anything at all.

#9 Post by **mangocrazy** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:40 pm

As one of the protagonists, it was not my intention to try and make anyone leave the forum. That never even crossed my mind, to be honest as TC was always robust in his responses and seemed to be able to take it as well as dish it out. I'm sorry that his experience and knowledge of the law in relation to motorcyclists has been lost to the forum.

What I find mildly astonishing is that he has flounced out of this forum in particular. as this forum is without doubt the best-behaved and most friendly I've ever been involved with. From a rookie Admin point of view, it pretty much runs itself (although I accept I'm not privy to everything that happens). I know he posts on other forums (I've seen his posts cut and pasted identically to other forums), and I'd imagine he'd get a much harder ride there than he does here.

However I believe that the calls for moderation and respect for the standpoint of others should have been heeded by TC himself. Had he not reacted the way he did to a number of posters we wouldn't be having this conversation.

blinkey501 · #10 Post by **blinkey501** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:34 pm

There is probably more to this, Perhaps he is having a few problems in his personel life.

I may be wrong.

I wish him well, and eventually I hope with time maybe re appears on the forum.

D-Rider · #11 Post by **D-Rider** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:45 pm

spiderwheels wrote:
If you're thinking about locking a thread from the outset then maybe it would have been better not to have posted it at all.

No - as I stated, I posted this as from time to time our members need to contact TC for advice when they have a legal issue - often an accident.
That is not the time to find out that someone you had been banking on is not about.
It was not realistic to post that up without the reasons behind it.

As I said, I would normally let people slip away but I thought - and I still think - the forum deserved an explanation.

I also asked in my first post not to pick over the bones of this ......

BikerGran · #12 Post by **BikerGran** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:06 am

We know that you did but it's very difficult to abide by your request when so many people feel very differently to the way you have expressed this. (I include myself).

I typed more but deleted it, and I won't be adding any more to this thread.

fatboy · #13 Post by **fatboy** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:13 pm

Tomorrow is a new day

Willopotomas · #14 Post by **Willopotomas** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:44 pm

Did anyone watch the rugby over the weekend?

People come, people go. A bit like down the pub, but arguments happen a lot more freely over the interwebs as peoples mannerisms are difficult to interpret. I'm guilty of it, and I'm sure 99.9% of peeps on here are also at some point. There was an element of "holier than thou" about TC, but such is the way of an ex-copper.. Know many of them, and usually put them in their place. I also know many time served engineers with similar attitude issues. I didn't see the thread in question, and to be perfectly honest I could give a toss. He's gone, his choice, and I wish him all the best with his health and future endeavours. His knowledge of traffic law was an asset to the forum, but it's nothing none of us could find out by reading a few books.. Just made it a hell of a lot easier when it came to asking for sound advice..

England 61 - 21 Scotland!!!

#15 Post by **mangocrazy** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:22 pm

Nice one, Will - sums it up pretty much for me.

And I was gobsmacked by the scoreline as well; expected a much closer game...