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I live on a green lane in a vintage caravan and life is usually tranquil, late last night a loas of 4x4s came down the lane at a helluva seed, clearly aiming for anything they could hit.
The commotion got everyone out side, the wankers had stopped near the end of the lane bragging about what they had hit, my mates son opened the door to speak to one of the passengers so the driver pulled away dragging Jake down the lane with his hand caught in the doorhandle so I smacked the car with what came to hand to make it stop, trashing the rear windscreen.
Those fuckers came belting through here, 30 ish with mere inches of clearance, we have 5 kids here between the ages of 2 to 7, they would not have stood a chance if they had stepped out to see what was happening, not to mention the dogs and cats.
The driver of the last 4x4 told me they would be back,wanting revenge for the windscreen....
Yes, police now involved

It's not the cars fault your mistake was not hitting the driver ..repeatedly and with a much heavier object... We live on a lane and there is a solicitor woman who speeds up and down it every time in a rush ignoring the fact that children and neighbours with dogs are often on the lane and then mutters to herself if she has a near miss. I am just not going to take avoiding action the day the little one is not in the car... That or throw a car into the open window

Hmmm.... I was going to post a few useful suggestions. But changed my mind when I realised they all advocated the use of caltrops and Molotov cocktails.

'I live on a green lane in a vintage caravan'

Move the caravan off the lane?

Falcorob wrote:'I live on a green lane in a vintage caravan'

Move the caravan off the lane?

Move the caravan into the lane.

I'd be tempted to install a rustic version of speed bumps and/or chicanes. Obviously, you can't block it but some strategically placed logs or rocks would certainly slow the b*st*rds down or enforce some expensive repairs.

Buy a shotgun.

Shoot the feckers.

Use the bodies as speed bumps.

Job jobbed.

Paintball guns. Pepper the twats and their cars.. They'll be easy for plod to spot then.. Not that they'll do anything.

Most were away this weekend,working the last festivals of the year.
Police were helpful but as yet no follow up phone call or visit as promised.
The best we can do for now is slow the fuckers down with obstacles in the way, the threatened return visit has not happened.
I hope that by recieving a sledge hammer handle through the windscreen registers dissapproval, if that happened to me I would take it as ' I fucked up, get outta here', which is what they did

Oh and thanks for the replies, the support means a lot !

fatboy wrote:Oh and thanks for the replies, the support means a lot !

.... and when you've finished with the support, please wash it before returning it to Pete.



.... and I hope that everything works out OK for you on this one.

Well two of the unimaginative fuckwits were back last night, considerably slower, possibly due to the wooden packing case full of rocks left in the way !

fatboy wrote:Well two of the unimaginative fuckwits were back last night, considerably slower, possibly due to the wooden packing case full of rocks left in the way !

caltrops

Oh yes, that would slow them down, as would a stinger if you can borrow one from your friendly constable.