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It's a lawn strimmer.

My life is dull and without meaning.

But is it oasis green?

No grass green!
He did say it was dull and boring.

I assumed you had graduated from sheep to an oversized inflatable frog ;)

Can you upgrage its performance with any modificatons ?
Any tasty carbon fibre bits available for this machine ?
Any tarty anodised aluminium bolt on bits ?
Does it wear a hat ?

Answer no to all of the above and its probably boring

It's Bosch racing green. I find their stuff to be reliable and work well for the price.

Oh, dear. Erm, I totally stuffed some bloke on a yellow Triumph yesterday.

And yup I've started with the mods. Wire mod done. You can also buy stabilisers and little crash bars for them.

Ok, the Bosch racing green I understand, the rest is a little cryptic.
Have you been attacking unsuspecting Triumph riders with your garden machinery?
The stabilisers and crash bars would be for ?
A) the unsuspecting victim of your attack, enabling them to ride post assult?
B) your racing green garden machinery, which proved to be unstable and caused you to unwittingly assult a Triumph rider?
C) your hat, notoriously unstable ?

The little wheel is for old or idle people who can't be bothered to hold a piece of garden equipment off the floor. The crash bars are to stop you tearing holes in your neighbours fence posts with the heavy duty wire you put in. Theoretically...

The triumph was stuffed in the old fashioned way with a brown Falco. Just thought the post needed balance.

Im amazed that Bosch have developed 'rider aids' for a bloody strimmer.
The truth is a little dull, I had visions of some other demonic use of garden machinery

You have been watching some of squids favourite videos....

Aladinsaneuk wrote:You have been watching some of squids favourite videos....

Yup, Braindead - old Peter Jackson film. Man with lawnmower vs zombies.
Even better than Cockneys vs Zombies and that had a zombie song by Chas & Dave.