Aircraft Maintenance.
Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high
school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly
regularly!
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be
said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual
maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked Pilot)
and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
Pilot: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Pilot: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And finally ...................
Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Aircraft Maintenance.
Moderators: Aladinsaneuk, MartDude, D-Rider, Moderators
Im sat here in tears of laughter and in pain.
Have you ever entered into reading a thread that turns out to be funny whilst eating mini savoury eggs?
I now have breadcrumbs exiting where breadcrumbs shouldnt, my eyes are watering and I almost choked to death a minute ago.
Very funny post, made my day that has
Have you ever entered into reading a thread that turns out to be funny whilst eating mini savoury eggs?
I now have breadcrumbs exiting where breadcrumbs shouldnt, my eyes are watering and I almost choked to death a minute ago.
Very funny post, made my day that has
Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly
